Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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