Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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