Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
