I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
