I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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