fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
