When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize