I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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