i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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