dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
