We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
