Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
