I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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