can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
