his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
