i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i now understand why vodka
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize