Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
