She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
