I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize