White coat. Heels.
This girl is more easily done than said...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
