Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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