I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
