Just cropdusted the office
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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