How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
