Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dick very happy bro
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
