my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
