Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
