the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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