Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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