So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
