I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
