we're blogging at a bar
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize