I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
