bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
