is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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