Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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