Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
