I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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