if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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