you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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