Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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