hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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