So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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