I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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