I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
