i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize