This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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