Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
