i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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