I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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