So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize