I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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