Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
