I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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