whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
