I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
