dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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