i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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