I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
