there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
