I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize