look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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