I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
