they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
