Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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